This will probably suck

Stop me if you've heard this before... Life was going smoothly in the kingdom of Ehb when one day, a marauding band of Krug -- animalistic brutes in thrall of... nevermind, just think "Urukhai" -- descends upon the countryside, killing everyone in their path. Wait -- they didn't kill everyone. For some reason, they kidnapped a woman -- the wife of a hardworking farmer, who is now hot on the Krug's tail, bent on revenge. In his journeys, he will be joined by various companions, including the King's Magus, Merick, who will help him in his quest to save the kingdom from evil.

Sounds familiar? It should be. In the Name of the King is the film version of Microsoft and Gas Powered Games' RPG, Dungeon Siege.

The film is packaged as 'epic' and the 'most anticipated game in January'. Maybe... but I'm not getting my hopes up. I don't know... maybe films like Eragon taught me a harsh lesson not to expect too much from post-LOTR fantasy flicks. Maybe it's also the actors -- they look... displaced. Gimli (John Rhys-Davies) now plays a magus, the relentless robo-babe from T3 is now an amazon (?), the lobotomized Krendel from Hannibal plays the black mage, and the transporter is now 'the Farmer'. Is it just me or is anyone else half-expecting a cell phone to ring in the middle of a swordfight?

A fantasy medieval movie starring Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds, and Jason Statham. Who knows, maybe it will work. Stranger things have happened.