I went to Naga City to attend a hearing and all I have to show for my trip (other than the Order I was able to secure) is this:
a picture of a lion with too much eyeliner.
I wake up next to my wife with joy every morning, but become sad when I lose a DotA match. Pride swells in my heart when I say no to the second cup of rice, but quickly lose control when grabbing another fistful of sweets from my chocolate jar. It’s like I’m pregnant. The mood swings are becoming ridiculous.
Re-reading Thomas Harris’ thriller Red Dragon (set before Silence of the Lambs) for the nth time produced a depressing, slightly upset stomach-inducing feelings I was ill-prepared to ingest. I haven’t been this engrossed in a book in a long while and the trauma/depravity experienced by the protagonist of the book bled into my ‘waking’ life, even after putting the book away.
Tuesday, I texted some friends and asked of possible gimmicks and places/events to enjoy. The usual homebody that I am, my friends were kind enough to text back but no real plans came off it. I told them I was dead bored, but that wasn’t entirely accurate. It was extreme dismay at my situation brought about by… well, nothing. I was dismayed because of nothing.
Wednesday, I was reading some online comic and eating a whole bar of Hershey’s Cookies and Cream, (which I relished with all delight) when a thought came into my head – “I have the best life -- EVER!!!” Nothing major in my life changed to vanquish yesterday’s dismay – the chocolate and the comic made all the difference.
THAT made me stand up and question – why am I being so unusually vulnerable to things happening around me? I’m usually a hard person to affect – makapal ang balat ko eh. The common criticism is that I am insensitive – not a sissy boy swayed by emotions. Where is my usual steadfast joy, the peace that comes from the security of being a disciple of the Master of the Universe?
That’s when it hit me – I am, like all humans, an amphibian. I am both body and soul, physical and spiritual. And even though my wife and I pray together every night, when was the last time this month – this quarter, actually -- that I sat down and opened my bible? With the starving diet that I have subjected my soul to God’s Word, is it any wonder why my will is being dominated by my earthly body? How can I quench my eternal thirst if I turn away from the everlasting water? How will I recognize joy that knows no bounds if I am starving my eternal spirit?
Garbage in, garbage out. It took me a while to remember, but yes, it is so obvious after all – how can I not be dominated by earthly pulls and concerns when it is all that I know? If I want a grander vision, I would have to tear my eyes from the TV/PC and raise my head to the Son.
So I guess I’d download that new e-sword installer and come back to my devotions. I’m hardcore after all. I’d really rather be the “sissy-boy emotional” when I’m on my knees to my God, not when I’m eating chocolate – no matter how good it is.
Processor: Quad Core - Intel(R) Core2(TM) Extreme Quad-Core 3.0GHz QX6850 performance enhanced
RAM: 4 GB 1066MHz CORSAIR PC2-8500 DDR2 SDRAM SLI Ready
Coolant: CPU and Graphic cards liquid cooling (NVIDIA gfx)
MoBo: ASUS Striker Extreme 680i
Video Card: Dual NVIDIA GeForce 8800 ULTRA, with 768MB of GDDR3 SDRAM (LC)
Physix Card: Ageia PhysX(tm) 100 Series PCI-E GFX Accelerator Card (Physics Acceleration)
Audio Board: Creative Audio Sound Blaster(R) X-Fi(TM) XtremeGamer Fatal1ty Professional
Power Supply: 1.1KW Power Supply
Storage: 1) RAID (0) Performance - 3 x 160GB 10,000 rpm SATA (primary OS storage)
2) RAID (1) Data Reliability - 2 x 750GB 7200 rpm SATA (secondary Data storage)
Optical Drives: 1) Super multi-drive, slim slots with Lightscribe (DVD+/-R/RW+/-DL)
2) Second Super multi-drive, slim slots with Lightscribe (DVD+/-R/RW+/-DL)
3) Blu-ray Rewriter and HD DVD-ROM Super multi-drive with LightScribe (CD-R/RW, DVD-R/RW/RAM, +R/RW, +/- R DL)
Displays: HP LP3065 30-inch LCD Monitor
Sound: 1) Bose Companion(R) 5 multimedia speaker system
2) Creative Fatal1ty Gaming Headset
Peripherals: Logitech Force 3D Pro
Configuration: $10,501.96 USD* or even with the relatively strong peso, it's around Php420,000. It's Godzilla-powerful AND matrix pretty. Crazy? I know. But what's the point of dreams if they're just run-off-the-mill?
And while I wait for a more opportune time for a PC upgrade, here's something my thumbs are busy with in the meantime:
* photos from the Hewlett Packard site and http://bobmeetsworld.com/