neena's recent post came as a shrill whistle violently jerking me from an unnoticed slumber. "HOW DARE I SETTLE FOR LESS?" my mind screams. For wasn't I made for the stars? Isn't my creator mightiest of all? Am I actually saying He's impotent? 'Cause that's what I'm saying everytime I settle for what's not best.
When was the last time I asked Him to move mountains? To silence demons, to raise from the abyss? When was the last time I asked and confidently expected from my father? When did I stop badgering Him for His promises? Why in the world have I allowed myself to believe in my own lies (my self worth, the things i think i would be incapable of doing) instead of taking Him for His Word?
i'm more of a fool than i ever thought i was. Refusing my father's hands to work on me because I stopped expecting Him to do so -- essentially castrating my God on my life as I've settled on what I see in everyday. I call those who turn their backs on Him as imbeciles while I'm here satisfied with scraps when I'm invited at an honored place at His table. I've known myself a liar all my life, and I actually allowed myself to believe in my own propaganda.
Moron.
I can't wait for You to bring me to my knees and raise my head to the heavens, Abba.
10 comments:
hi moks. wala kang tag board so dito na lang. your posts are always too deep, ang hirap mag-comment! well, at least when one doesn't want to get herself revealed (too much), he he :)
oh, and they're always substantial... making me feel guilty calling myself a blogger :(
"well f*ck me sideways, i'm more of a fool than i ever thought i was." Ummm, is using profanity a good idea here Moks??????
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
^ haha. ayan moks, sinabi ko na sa iyo iyan dati. kapag magsusulat ka ng kabanalan, mga banal na salita lang ang gamitin mo, para di siya oxymoron.
napagalitan ka tuloy. ahehe.
ngayon, kung puro kahalayan at kalokohan naman ang isusulat mo, eh okay lang mag-pakshet. ahehe.
.................
wahahaha. but it was a good post. except for the fuck me sideways that suddenly hits you out of nowhere. :)
ooops. hehehe.
actually, kevin, i was on my way home when it hit me -- i forgot to take the expletive down! and i promised to take it off first thing in the morning.
y'all came here first before i could do so, however =P
Peps,
tol, ikaw -- when will you dare to not let go again? =P
Lala,
post post lang po, kahit ano. awaiting regular updates from you ;-)
Ailene,
Salamat kapatid. ewan ko ba -- ang labo din ng thoughts ko eh. coming all out of nowhere.
Thanks Moks. We all say things we regret. The advantage of a blog is you can go back and erase it :)
I actually thought the post was excellent except for that one line :)
Hahahaha. Buti na lang may 'edit.' :-)
Habol ako. Ya I agree. Used to be one of my favorite words. But now I say F da F word!...well I don't really say it...hehe, I just mean forget bout it. Just go easy with the french buddy & don't let one word destroy a nice Godly post :)
uhm, pag-isipan ko kung kelan. =P
ahehe.lapit na.
haha. expletives.
hee hee.
honga peps, visit ka sa church minsan.
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